Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister.". Lets take a look at our favorite short jokes for adults only: As far as dirty jokes go, we can safely say that size doesnt matter. Then I said, isn't that what mom stands for? Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? You'll never get it! Dirty Jokes 21. 91) How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant? Nevermind. 50 Edinburgh Fringe one-liners that deserved to win Funniest Joke Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. And a slightly different version of this dirty dad joke: When a pair of people have intercourse, it's a twosome. She answers, "That's his trunk." Flustered, one says, "Who is it?" where is tony kornheiser now / kalawao county treasurer / dirty yogurt jokes. "Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddys penis in your mouth. The bar tender says "hey, what do you think you're doing? "How much?" Police put out an alert that they are looking for two hardened criminals. pop culture How is prostitution like yogurt? How do you know that you have a high sperm count? 27) My neighbor has been mad at his wife for sunbathing nude. It says Hot Dog $2, Cheeseburger $5, and Handjob $10. My mom said I couldn't get a frozen yogurt. 33) If sex with three people is called a threesome and sex with four people is called a foursome, I guess now its clear why everyone calls me handsome. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. She responds, You can tell that by what I bought? dirty yogurt jokes. 16. She asks the elderly owner inspecting her blouse how long it would take to clean. 74) Me and my friend were masturbating to some hardcore dinosaur pornography. ", 22) One day, there were two boys playing by a stream. My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic. 19) A little girl and boy are fighting about the differences between the sexes, arguing which one is better. A: Pi a'la mode. I burst in through the bedroom door saying, 'Can I have a new bike?' The Divorce Is Next Tuesday. The son asks the father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?". First, well get hammered, and then Ill nail you. Whats better than a hilarious joke? So both nuns are painting the room in the nude when they hear a knock on the door. So the friend is now having sex with the woman while the husband wafts the towel. Why did the sperm cross the road? The bear shrugged. Because they won't stop to ask directions. Dirty Jokes Dirty Jokes Let loose and get dirty! 30 of Romesh Ranganathans funniest jokes and quotes Sex on TV cant hurt unless you fall off. When at the supermarket, I always pick the cashier whos most likely to have sex with me. 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If a guy remembers the color of your eyes after the first date, chances are. 1. "Darling," replied the man, "I can't lie to you. 25. The other watches your snatch. "$10.00 a pill," he replied. I just drive everywhere. I said, Well, Im pretty good, but I dont think Im ready to compete just yet.. Kid 2: "You will in about nine months.". 50 of the best lines from Peep Show Good clean jokes jokes that are genuinely funny but perfectly appropriate are hard to come by. If it evokes a reaction somewhere between cringing and earnest laughter, and you simultaneously want to tell the person sharing the joke to tell you more and also shut up because they're. One day, their passions overcame them in the office, and they took off for her house. The cashier looks at the items, looks at her and then back at the items and says "I know you're single". 82) What do you say when balls are slapping against your chin? A man was driving down the road with his monkey in the back of his van. I asked the people living there if I could come inside because I was feeling . 26 of Sara Pascoes funniest jokes and quotes 31 Best Man jokes that will work for any wedding I just dont like things that stop you from seeing the television properly. Victoria Wood, Ive got a boyfriend at the moment. Doctor: Because Im trying to examine you., Bartender: Whats the matter buddy? If you left a Yogurt alone 200 years it would develope a culture. 12. 8) My girlfriend thought I'd be a pushover in bed, and wouldn't you know it, she had me pegged from the start. turns out he loved the weather, but hated the culture. Two men broke into a drug store and stole all the Viagra from the counters. You name it its on this list. I'd rather have a puppy. ", 53) There was an elderly man who wanted to make his younger wife pregnant. Hear the best gags and funny stories about Wildlife Yogurt, Frubes Yogurt, Trix Yogurt, milk, yoghurt and Yakult, and get your fill of delicious dairy-related comedy! 1. Because men keep telling them this is eight inches. Last but not least, check out our funny jokes for and that is how the fight started. His work has been featured in New York Times, Rolling Stone, Washington Post, Playboy, and more. My zipper. How does a woman scare a gynecologist? One liner tags: dirty, women. ", A few days later, the little boy walks in on his parents having sex. 2021 Associated Newspapers Limited. "Dad, what's that thing hanging down under the elephant?" Bartender: What did you do? 7. Man: I told her to pack her shit and get the hell out! Was joking with my neighbor about the Dutch being cheap. He forgot to wrap his Whopper. Bartender: What about your friend? Frozen yogurt: Frozen yogurt is a frozen dessert made with yogurt and sometimes other dairy and non-dairy products. 25) Why did the sperm cross the road? 115) What does a robot do after a one-night stand. Recognizing the man behind the counter, she says "I need this dress cleaned right away." If I'm going to have sex, it's going to be on my own Accord. #3. Whats the difference between light and hard? "Because I'm trying to examine you.". Gary Delaney, I got a DVD on how to improve your foreplay. Whats better than roses on your piano? "Mother, where do babies come from?" This isnt a 1994 Comedy Central stand-up. She says, "Oh, its like a dick but smaller.". Johnny says, "None." 50 of the funniest Father Ted quotes 29) "Dear NASA: Your mom thought I was big enough." One makes your whole day, but the other makes your hole weak. Her husband asks, "Why are you so happy?" 39 of the greatest Brass Eye and Day Today quotes 111) Whats the difference between you and an egg? What did the elephant say to the naked man? "You understand, of course, that this means you will not be welcome in our church," stated the pastor. Unfortunately, my mothersaurus. The wife responds, "No, I will live with my sister." Doctor: Sir, I have some bad news. He writes Sexplain It, the sex and relationship advice column at Mens Health, and is the co-author of Mens Health Best. 15. The bartender says, "Single?" Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? Spanish TV. Derry Girls: 35 of the funniest quotes and one-liners How is being in the military like getting a blowjob? "Because I'm trying to examine you." 33) If sex with three people is called a threesome and sex with four people is called a foursome, I guess now it's clear why everyone calls me . 20. The third boy said his father loves to eat light. Share: Two cartons of yogurt walk into a bar. The little boy says, "Daddy, what are you doing? 105 of the best clean jokes and one-liners A glad-he-ate-her. I hope it's not repost. - . Then the fourth nun skips the third nun in line and God asks why she did that. Your wife IS better. A ripoff. Every conceivable occasion. A woman walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a double entendre. 6) A young newlywed couple wanted to join a church. Pretty nuts! This frozen yogurt has a more dairy and creamy taste to it, very similar to ice cream.
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