my husband left me because he was unhappy my husband left me because he was unhappy

I wanted to make him happy so, i said i would move to where his family lived so, we would have family and we were supposed to have a better life. I know youre hurting right now, and I understand that you want another shot with your husband. "My wife left me alone for nearly two years while I was away for work and . My own inability to be nice cost me my life You could emagine how I felt like someone ripped my heart out.I started telling him how can you go back after every thing that I have been nothing but loyal to him. ? He had no good reason and said we dont like the same things which made no sense to me at all. I should acknowledge I don't know the details. . Now he is living with his parents. F course he blames me.Im hurt , all of my bills are on me.He wont give me any money..hes a heartless man. He is totally messed up in the head and most of the stuff he says contradicts itself one day to the next. And part of me wants to move on and find somebody who truly appreciates and loves me for who I am. When I first left the security of my nuclear family, my house, and my marriage the world initially seemed so shaky and unstable. You might feel like theres no one who can understand how youre hurting, but thats not true. She misses her girls and she feels her siblings and their partners treat her and look at her differently. Sure, I knew things had not been great between us, but I never thought she would leave! Very interesting info!Perfect just what I was searching for! I have no ideas that will provide you comfort. Had a six month affair with my real estate agent next door. I dont even know where to start now. It was almost like a death, but the person I was losing was still in front of me. My wife of fifteen years did almost exactly the same thing to me. Im not so much after advice, but comfort would be great right about now. As soon as we arrived in our new location, he started acting weird again. (2018). I know that was never her intention to use me, thats just not her. My names James, Im 25. And the house. I told her no more. I suspected for ages they were up to something but could never be 100% sure so dismissed it. Although she wasnt having a physical affair, she was having an emotional one. "My husband left me because he was unhappy" can be a common thought when you're struggling with such abandonment. Then I suffered a spinal injury, that left me crippled with pain for seven years, five of them entirely bed-confined. I dont think he is as he has a very close relationship with his family. You will probably find things thaT you might enjoy to do that you could not do before. I guess they been talking about kids were emotions came back and he told me that not to hate him but he had to go cuz he want to be with his kids and I found text from her saying hi babe I miss you. She sounds like shes crazy now. My wife denies it. Then I found out that she had actually gone away with her ex husband, and our daughter slept at a friends house to make it look good. You think I wanna sit and have thanksgiving dinner with you? I felt we became room mates and no longer husband and wife. In fact I think I hate him more now than I did then. This whole situation is crazy. I apologize for this somewhat sloppy reply Hes decided to go and although there will be a lot for me to work through I truly think itll be the best thing. I would often check in emotionally to make sure things were getting better He has disconnected from your relationship and has "one foot out the door" so to speak. He held me back and then confessed that he was bi-sexual and had been texting with another man. Either way Im totally broken, unable to cope and cannot see a way ahead. anyway thanks for listening, Thank you for your comment, Lorrie. I just cant understand. My children were now being brainwashed into believing I left then for this new woman as well as a few of her not so close friends. I am breaking apart because I am getting the divorce process in place but I love my wife. As the spouse of a narcissist, I am the one with the problemthe one who is too sensitive, the one who cannot take a joke. During this time my Family saw the truth, because my ex husband and his girlfriend did so many cruel things. SOARING Into Strength author shares her trifecta of trauma and what she learned. Because i was not dressed for it and i am not comfortable with my body. She had forgiven me on every occasion but this recent one, really hit her. Didnt call, nor would he discuss our situation in email. When we met it was love from the off. someone whos been through abuse or bullying, What to do when your husband or wife abandons you, speaking with a mental health professional, acsjournals.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdfdirect/10.1002/cncr.24577, proquest.com/openview/4bd906a16b2a72068a059378348fb0c1/1?pq-origsite=gscholar&cbl=41641, How to Let Go of Past Hurts: 8 Ways to Move On, Podcast: Resiliency, Passion, and Trauma Recovery, Podcast: Working Moms and Self-Care with Brooke Burke, Podcast: The Latest Research to Live Happily Ever After, Podcast: Is Media Reporting on Mental Illness Fair? I need some advice and to help here with my own feelings. For me Im hoping we can get back to normal but there is some doubt. Slightly distant. Is he struggling with finances? One more thing.. Her loss. I was so glad to finally have someone to love my first and only love that I stopped my destructive behaviours and together we were the quintessential happy young couple we were never great at sex, but for all other aspects of marriage even communication, we were as happy as good be. In this type of love, how others view us is more important than how we actually feel. I guess theres a lot of money being made in the divorce and recovery business encouraging people like my ex wife to wreck our families. One of the quickest ways to destroy your marriage is to leave your wife alone. I hate myself and have become a hermit. I got his phone and looked for her name. When my kids are with me im fine but when they leave to go home it takes me at least an hour to get my head straight. I feel exactly the same as you Ghosting doesnt always mean the offending party is being intentional. Shell be fine, but I will be a mess. I was so scared and so alone and it was all of a sudden. I never had a clue and so I could not understand her response. the first time they ever met face to face was at the airport.love at first sight in her words.the way I found out, I was on my way to work and got a text message. Oh my God. So there are a lot of things you can do to help you get over the loss of your husband: Those are just a few of the most important things you can do to get over your sadness. She has lied to them and been found out. But guilt still plagues me. 32 years we have did everything together and it dont feel right being alone. When your children were young, you probably used to have fun and spend time with them. From my perspective your husband saying that he is not happy could mean several things: 1. I am going through it myself. It seems that 3 weeks before my writing her my history and my concerns for us, she had an affair. he still love his ex wife and tell to my face that his only pretending to love me all this years. Next thing I know, I was finding that he had taken all my jewelry including gifts he had given me and the pink slip to the vehicle we owned together. By left me I mean that she asked me to leave. and yes even now he is with his lover and left me in another state by myself. After 3 weeks of mixed signals, sleeping in the same bed, having sex and her emotional outbursts at the kids, I asked her to leave. cheat ,refuse to except your responabillity dont come crying when the shit hits the fan and nobody wants nothing to do with you .I love my kids still love my wife and will do anything to make their live good I wish her all the best with the new man but fear , a relationship built on lies and deceit is a disaster waiting to happen .Good luck to all who have been cheated on I wish you all the happiness you can find be strong and trust in yourself , trust me nobody but you can make this better so walk with head held high feel proud that you didnt sink to their level best of luck one mightily piss off deserted husband. I have been on his plan for 21 years. I cant stop crying but dont know what to think. Sometimes people are just so selfish and they think they are going to find someone better and most of the time they dont. Btw she is the only family i have here and i cant get past the fact that she doesnt love me anymore Any opinions? The one you left feelings dont matter no more?? Curious I went out and heard him drop something out of my sight. You don't feel understood. The long and short of my story is that I came home from work last night to find my girlfriend of almost 2 years and 8 months living together with her bags packed and a car outside with her mums friend waiting. Military will have his butt for Infidelity. My husband of five years, 11years together came home from work, it had been a week since he works away from home and left me, one week before Christmas. Lost 6 kg. Here are 14 tips for women who still love their husbands, even though they left them: Life without your husband is a blessing. I still love her with all my heart but she continues to treat me worse and worse. I wish you all the best finding the new you and someone who loves you for who you really are!! We all do. I am never able to maintain my anger for any length of time but never the less I am a poor former of words while angry so it is easy for me to see how I may have said something I didnt truly mean It has now been some time since then and many conversations regarding the relationship not being one where we operated as a couple. I am still learning the scope of the damage that was done to me. Next Monday comes and she again asks me to be there every night after work to do all the work and begins to belittle me when I start to question whats going on, she would often tell me I didnt care about the children if I didnt want to be there but by now its getting hard, real hard. to save to buy a house. Do something nice fir her, like send flowers and say in the note dont give up in me yet. Something that may make her reconsider. Too bad you couldnt put a nanny cam in their house or have your oldest one record what goes on on the phone or something to prove to the police that the truth children are being mismanaged. There had been so many years apart and having four children between the two of us makes moving forward difficult to say the least. I may not even want him back after all. This was mid January. I dont have friends that I can confide in, I dont have family to talk to. Once you enter your information, youll be directed to a list of therapists and counselors who meet your criteria. He was asking for her number then the conversation ended. We are in the office Monday through Friday from 8:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. Mountain Time, and our phone number is 888-563-2112 ext 3. Research has also found that of the couples who felt their marriage was in serious danger of ending but who stayed the course anyway, over 80+ percent of them wound up feeling very glad that they didnt get divorced. He just kept saying it was his problem. I later learned this depression likely stemmed from him not wanting to leave his son, but feeling like he was stuck in a marriage he didnt want to be in. I caught her in an affair with a coworker and then found out she slept with my friend in my own home while I was asleep. Hi Cassie This is unacceptable behavior from your husband. 2. Since that day, naturally, nothing has been the same I still love him very much and care for him but I feel like we arent meant to be together anymore. He acts like he hates me and he told me at Christmas that he is sick of me and he doesnt care if i stay or left but,i can leave the kids. 5 years ago I bumped in to a high school friend. They will keep you occupied to not think about how bad you feel, at least some of the time. Acting normal at home. No one is perfect, but Its not you. She had no ex or children and is at the age where perhaps she thought she was going to be left on the shelf. He would tell me no babe stop tripping and l really started thinking l was tripping. My son just walked around crying this whole time. You actually grow new neurological pathways for pain. Just know you are not alone. I dropped the kids off with her mom on Sunday who had made that arrangement so to avoid me. And I can tell you first-hand that its not easy to go through something like this. I know it sounds like a hard thing to hear, but sometimes when people get divorced their whole lives change. You have kids? Wow that sounds horrible, cant believe after all those years its almost like they could erase everything you thought they were fighting for for nothing. Her tone and her demeanor were so condescending. We lost our connection several years before I left. My experience was so unbelievable that I was in shock, I was diagnosed with PTSD later on. Sleeping in the spare room shows separation and guilt. I cant believe the hell youre going through. This is also the second time he has done this the last time wasnt quite as brutal I dont think he was still super cold and mean to me but there was a rocky relationship leading into it so it wasnt overly surprising it lasted abiut a month and half before he came crawling back. Uncle in Illinois for a few weeks. Fortunately, relationship expert and divorce coach Brad Browning knows exactly what it takes to save a failing marriage. My kinds and I are are now stuck between the rock and a hard place.. More must be done. He could turn on a tear and look remorseful but wouldnt answer if I said to him , I can get through anything if I know that you love me he would milk all my tears until we both turned defensive and would turn it round to irritation accusing me of mistrust in doubting him . Its not fair. He was messing with a female on his ship one pay grade lower and still got away with it. Is evn more so when you realize how little value people place on others life and livelihood. I give everything to her. I know your heart is broken, but you need to understand that your husband may have left because he was unhappy and wanted something better. I would get upset but he insisted there was nothing wrong with it. I believe every situation has a grieving process and mine was about a month ..I smoked heavily and released my anger in the gym till my pain went away. Thank you all for being so brave, you have blazed a trail for me to follow. They may view the depression as an anchor that will take you both down. I feel broken, rejected, and unloved. I just cant believe its the same person. In January the kids want nothing to do with her because of the lies she has been telling plus my brother and his wife took her side, I just wanted them to be on the kids side. Very nice article, great to help people move on to enjoy the rest of their lives, your kindness shows through, thank you for writing it. The feeling sorry for him part for being an emotionally broken person is really gone when you give me choices to betraying me and put my business at risk that I started four years ago. First of all,thank you for sharing your story. Some women ruin their lives because they feel so heartbroken over the loss of their husbands. She later asked me to move out the house to give her space as she could move in and she kept saying I was impossible to live with (yet managed for 5 years previously). There is those who love and care for others so much and are waiting for others like us to come in their lives. We are both in our 50s. I received my divorce and was devastated by my helpless circumstance. In the same boat. She never calls, answers and doesnt text back at all. When I left my mairriage of 8 years and finally divorce after 14 years I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I will never go back to my ex husband. Sadistic. We'd love to hear your stories. Usually it is a combination of both, dont you think? I know for some people, strength is a lot more difficult to find within, and some people may not have a support network around them, but with Mint Movement, I want you to know you are not alone. The hits keep coming. Do not allow someone to ever make you feel less or wrong. If not dealt with correctly, these problems can shift into infidelity and disconnectedness. I have yet to get the call to come sign them. If you need help finding a therapist, you are welcome to call us. Maybe once I can accept that then Ill start to move on, at least from crying and feeling like I cant and dont want to even get out of bed. I rent a room now after owningy castle. I try to tell her shes embarrassing herself my kids and me with her behavior but she doesnt care. I will not lie to you, this will not be easy, but I can promise YOU WILL feel relief from staying true to yourself. The number one rule of Christianity is forgiveness. But I love her. If you need help finding a therapist, you are welcome to call us. I always thought , feared she may leave me when Im older and it happened! Peace of mind is what I want. Do not try to get her back at this time at least. Before my son turned 18 he changed his mind and thought it would be a perfect time to get married. Letting go doesn't mean forgetting, pretending your heart isn't broken, or putting up walls so you don't get hurt again. Im SO GLAD I am off that (not so) Merry go round come roller coaster rides through dark depressive rides in and out of sadness. He ask me to hire someone to put his things in storage. The only one I feel sad about is our son, they used to be so close ,its as though he is jealous of how his own sons life is going so great, has his dream job , his youth and health and trys to make US feel guilty about HIS life choices that he still insists on taking , even though the jobs he takes are for longer spells on the other side of the world and with every excuse why he cant phone , email ( no or little Internet ) give out his address or even post a letter, cant send him birthday cards or presents ( post to expensive and cant trust the mail ) When you are ready to tell your story Wendy , you will be amazed on how it flows. very hard. Really sounds like he is the one that will be missing out, just find yourself again. Dont tell her youre hiring a lawyer, and hire one anyway if you need to. Im devastated. Im heartbroken and sad for out two boys who love him so much. Two blows in one go. You might think she's overreacting at being passed over for a job and she might think you're crazy for over-analyzing that awkward moment at a . I am so heartbroken but the more I plead a nd get mad, and for fight for our marriage, the more he rejects me and doesnt even want to talk. See a priest????? The exact same thing happened to me! She threatened me and would say horrible things to me in front of the kids.. our kids would spend the night at their friends house or my parents home. I will follow this for now. I am absolutely disgusted by their behavior. I have a huge financial mess where I make more money than most people but I pay out so much. i had love in college. He only saw our daughter twice a month.. Then after our son he asks me to come back I go back and hes still trctong her the night I moved back in so the very next morning with my 1 week old baby and my toddler I pack up and move out again. Totally relate. Good luck to you all..Ive learnt in the last month..love yourself, think positive and ask for help when you need. So just like you want to be loved and cared for, he wants the same thing. We started dating at 17 and married at 25. So, basically this proves to me she was using me for some time, which (while devastating perhaps) allows me to at least be thankful she isnt, and cant anymore. A relationship is made of two people that are ready and willing to be a team. It totally sucks .glad to hear youre hanging in there, we have no choice. It will all Fall into Place . My name is Jon,and a few weeks ago when my wife and i were celebrating our birthdays in Chicago,she told me that she was leaving me and moving to California to live with some guy she met on the internet.My wife sufers from Fibromyalgia,depression. Youre going to feel happy and wonderful again. So find a new companion to share your life with. It is so hard I know.. but Im living proof that you can and will trust again if you allow yourself to believe. Say what you will, but there's often quite a bit of truth to jokes. I can easily get full custody of my kids since she has legal and immigration issues but I dont want to separate my kids from her. Im sorry but she has a mind of her own and can make her own mind. For his mothers birthday I baked and cooked all night and day. Very true unfortunately people have no gratitude and are not satisfied with what they have only look at what they dont, Grass always greener on the other side and want what others have got even if that destroys there own lives or someone elses. Always go with your gut instinct and protect yourself until you feel safe again. he used me. Even if your spouse returns, the relationship as you know it may have changed, and it's OK to express grief: "You're grieving the loss of this relationship, what . It was a mess As I always did I cooked cleaned laundry took care of kids was involved etc . Sometimes all it takes is to know someone believes in you to find the strength. After 24 years of marriage, and 27 years of being together, my wife told me she no longer was in love with me. I know it will all get better over time I just worry about how much damage this is doing to the kids. help me please. She was drugged up on pills again . Just sad. Letting go of what hurts may be difficult but it's possible. Good luck with Thanksgiving maybe they will be nicer to you this year since youre going through this nightmare. And if its not normalized that this happens to lots of people, then they will wind up meeting and marrying someone else, and experience this same issue down the road. I cry more for my son who looks confused and thinks when Im on the phone its daddy.