narcissist and second marriage narcissist and second marriage

Narcissists play to your ego early, to make you dependent on their love and affection. Rediscovering narcissism and interested to read the above comments. So the next, very next day he filed for divorce, all the while for months earlier, telling his family total lies about me so they would hate me. I wish my soon to be ex-husband could have that much insight! Thank God they werent my kids though. So I ask my husband about it who shrugs his shoulders and sais he has no idea what our son is talking about. Another time she called and wanted to take me to lunch on fathers day, yet we have no kids together. Ive met him a few times and he is adorable and very polite (far more so than I was at 6/7 years old!). I know why he sounds flat and like all the energy and happiness has been sucked out of him. He is giving his current wife everything she wants right now, including a child and moving closer to her family and away from our children, because she is feeding his ego and obviously is easily manipulating her with his lies and half truths. 4. Laughed that she spends most of her time in the gym as there are so many hot guys there to choose from. Take notes for EVERYTHING! He told me they ALL cheated on him. Great at first then distant and unhappy. In case you were unsure of 4, 5 & 6, NO CONTACT WITH YOUR EXN. But I was ready to cut HIM loose. Loved his energy he was so exciting to be with. Always! 1. wife 2 is stuck holding a bag of $hit but prob thinks she hit the jackpot. I was expecting them to be very affectionate and in love, since they were only 12 months into the honeymoon period. Aside from the surrealness, it hurts a lot. 6 hours later she called and I said what the heck, what, are u with another guy? Being in a intimate relationships gives a narcissist many options that they might not have had otherwise. When my husband and I met he told me he was divorced, then after he had me and my kids sucked in he said that he was not divorced but separated and working on divorce. He pulled me in head over heels becoming everything I told him I had been hurt through my marriage to an alcoholic. We have many additional resources on this site including recommended books, courses, and one-on-one coaching sessions . Could a second marriage actually last with these type conditions? The silence is a strange and cruel behavior that is harder to forgive, not the silence towards me, but the silence toward my daughter. waited on him hand an foot, than he divorce me. Why would a narcissist do this. Some common tactics that narcissists use early in their relationships are . Its very hard not to feel jealous. What a f*cking head case! Im divorced now and he lets his new girl believe i did all kinds of crazy He said and did terrible things..m still calls me late at night when she isnt there from Nick numbers and leaves me messages about how we child still work it out Hed leave her and his kids.. Shes pregnant now with his fifth kid Thankfully i had no kids. Because of the prenupt- I lost all of that money I put into the marriage, and was never reimbursed, even for the years of paying health insurance from my salary benefits. She is the one who has filed each divorce and it seems like her past marriages do not end on a happy note. Thank God they werent my kids though. The first is true passion, while the second. But there are forums like Divorce Busting that have online support groups you might find more posters who can answer your questions or get more feedback. What was I thinking? self-castigation post divorce. Her fourth marriage and she is only a few months into 43 years old! A little background? I was enthralled. Often they will be cheating, or have someone else on the line. The narcissist does everything with one goal in mind: to attract Narcissistic Supply (attention). I was finally rid of him, I bought a house for my daughter and I. She is an amazing person that has made the wise decision to leave me. Other common qualities include being kind, loyal, generous, and willing to give unconditionally once they feel securely connected to their partner. He was apparently so afraid to be alone that he gave the highest priority to immediately finding a new prey. Hi thanks for saying this. Anyways, now that the divorce is ongoing they are out in the open. She got pregnant right away, so she could get more attention, bought a HUGE house so she could show everyone how successful she was after remarrying this amazing guy. Id get a string you along text then full of exclamation marks an emoticons or even a selfie of her body parts. She called me back angrily and chastised me and hung up. I think she felt reluctantly obligated caring for us while our father was alive but after, not so much. "Don't become bitter. I had enough. Everything she has ever told me was a lie, so why would she start being honest now? But that is only the first stage of their abuse. Everyone should set a point for themselves where enough is enough. She hasnt left him yet (3 years and counting) despite constantly threatening him with divorce. I thank God we had no children. He and the ex girlfriend had apparently gotten back together sometime after we were married without my knowledge. Hmm. As long as the narcissist continues to get attention and whatever else they need, they might be able to stay in a relationship. You have your freedom, as in you are not locked up as a result of this r/ship.i could go on and on. I had a 4 yr relationship with a narcissist. 2017: July: kids report daddy has a girlfriend. The year they were dating/engaged (she was in a rush to marry him and get a visa less than 12 months after they met) she spammed him with over the top public declarations of love that read like she was quoting bits of a romance film. Get my tubes tied the day she is delivered in 2011. Is there something in the narcissists mind about the new source that makes them more prone to such a drastic step? Please say a little prayer for me. Everything in his life is in constant flux: friends, emotions, judgments, values, beliefs, place of residence, affiliations, even hobbies. Marrying a narcissist can be a huge mistake, especially if you are unprepared for how they change after the honeymoon period. So, why do narcissists marry? Then i found out she was still seeing him, she called again, in front of me again and said same thing, cannot see u again, but i found out again a month later she was stiil seeing him, fortunately i had taken a job long long ways away and the next week we moved. Anything whatsoever that you can say to the NARC, either verbally or in writing or through any third party, is simply giving your EXN a Supply, and you will just end up feeling pain. So yes the spouse will be used and abused, all the same but in enough doses not to overdo it too often. This site is owned and operated by A Seed Forever LLC, a limited So we have both just accepted the situation. Any thoughts of her can have the potential to emotionally tie you back to her.look in the mirror tomorrow morning and believe that there are healthy women in the world that can love and can support and genuinely do it from their heart. The following traits are good signs that your husband may be a narcissist: 1. There will be times that you think this is happening and then one day hell go and marry this girl that he left you for. I learned about flying monkeys. One year later, she has this guy wrapped around her finger, had a baby with him, got a new house same stuff. While you are dealing with a narcissist, it could be possible that a narcissist is hurting, demeaning, and dominating you wrongly due to their self-obsessive nature. A Need For Complete Control People with narcissistic personalities might seek complete control in their relationships. He STILL tried to get me back.. Why? I happened all the time. There is usually an event that she seems to orchestrate to finally get rid of the person. I fill the same,I found friends he was not happy wanted to to break it off with them, he lost his 24 -7 wife Ive been call everything in the book, Im 70 years old unbelievable starting over, sometimes I can hardly breath. My concern is my children, I have no communication with him or her because I refuse to be in that triangled mess and I hope and pray that it all works out for them. I got an important call for her about an hour after she left and called her cell, which always if she missed my call she would call me back real quick, but not this day. Says one minute if i change some things she might come back, then next minute says we can never by husband and wife ever again. Paid 1/3 her rent and offered her a car, but she didnt want or need my help and told everyone else I abandoned her and her kids high and dryI left her with almost 10k in her account. He wont have the courteousy to call you to let you know hes getting married. I just told her congrats, and enjoy, and to let me know when her attorney had the divorce papers ready for me to sign. Making up lies, getting PFAs by making up stories about me. He is young and it is probably his imagination he says with a smirk. Commentdocument.getElementById("comment").setAttribute( "id", "aa8fd91bafe6fcca7b8140a7bdbf1f14" );document.getElementById("i2dc42b6e0").setAttribute( "id", "comment" ); Alexander Burgemeester has a Master in Neuropsychology. I also have seen how when her husband works long hours, and she doesnt see him often enough, she goes out a lot more, texts her ex-husband over ridiculous things with their daughter, and has cheated on him. Thanks for letting tell someone what is happing. Its surreal. Share your concerns with your spouse. He describes the ladys home, where they went what they do together in great detail. Let me tell you how this plays out. I waited until September to see if would start paying me again and he didnt, so I found his phone number online and called him. But many want sex to be more mutually pleasing. I know why hes always exhausted or sick or acts like a walking zombie half the time. She is the female twin of my ex both textbook narcissists who think the entire world should bow down and serve them. NOTHING. At least five of these criteria must be present: A grandiose sense of self-importance Once my father passed she pretty much made me responsible for my sister and shirked all parental responsibility for either of us after that. I started to notice he was aggressive and violent. Later stage narcissistic abuse takes the form of . Being a husband or a wife gives a narcissist the excuse they need extract the praise and affecting that they feel the world owes them in a way that is likely to look and feel natural to the rest of the world. Cheated early in marriage and then often again later. My now ex husban left after finding new supply on facebook after i saved his life sat by his hospital bed 18hours per day for almost 3weeks. While a narcissist does have hope for change, which competent support of a counselor or coach, it is unlikely that they will change. Hallelujah!!! Any thoughts? This term is derived from the psychological disorder and is better known in the context of a narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). They break you down, accuse you of everything and turn it all on you acting like they never ever cared for you . My soon to be wife never found the positive in any thing I did. My son who spent a lot of time with his father continue to tell me things that happen and whenever I ask my husband, who I now understand is an N makes me sound as though I am crazy. Then this shot of light came into my darkness so much so that I thought Id experienced a hallucination. He is remarried to a 28 year old who blames me for him disrespecting her. Try not to take it personally. I know it was weird of me to keep reading them, but its so strange to watch your own relationship being reenacted in front of you by two other people. The last straw is that he physically grabbed me by my neck and threw me down, about a week after that he realized his money train had come to a stop!! Slapped a ring on her finger after 4 months, moved into her house. Filed for divorce after 5 yrs of dancing with the Devil. How I was so inept and useless. It has destroyed a piece of her. Yet he gave them alllll too me. Our responsibility as the people that love them is to try to mitigate the damage they cause in the relationship, understand that they are wounded individuals, and love ourselves enough to set definitive boundaries. Just a thought here.the temptation to compare her new companion with you is realbut try to resist. Simple. He played his cards well. Never bear anything wrong done to you. I met the wife after a few months. I want to let all this go- but I get brain buzz when Im with all the kids- like at Christmas and with this news of his engagement, Im stunned. Even since hes been married, And i agreee.Been there. From the narcissist that I know, they can maintain a second marriage IF the new spouse is a giver and feeds the narcissist constantly. If ever there was such a thing as virtual or cyber sex she excelled in it. Was hard now a year later i thank god for sending the whore to my life and freeing myself from an excuse of a man who lied took my money and treated me like dirt.thank you. Well put, Ive never thought of it that way. Ultimately, whether you are happy with such an arrangement is up to you. Marries me while Im 5 months pregnant. I just told her congrats, and enjoy, and to let me know when her attorney had the divorce papers ready for me to sign. Its less likely they cheated on you. Sure, I would love to know what was real, and what was her just trying to make me jealous, but in the end, who cares. I was mad of course, and she called him in front of me and said she cannot see or talk to him again. This guy was treating me like the enemy The final straw was when I caught him in a HUGE lie hed told his brother about me. She acts like a teenager, spending all her free time drinking and smoking pot, despite being almost 40. But as soon as he knew he had me the real him came out. To cut a long story short, she played with me for months on end like a cat would play with a sick/dying mouse. I paid for household expenses and his kids needs and our health insurance from my salary. Just bizarro! He is now engaged to a Chinese immigrant who barely speaks English. He was a tenant of mine and was dating someone when I met him. I stayed in out of fear mostly. I guess my question is, is this normal? Everything my ex accused me of, I just apologised for, agreed with her, and just went on my way. Healthy boundaries are crucial in all relationships, but especially in second marriages." Kurt Smith, a therapist who counsels men I thought that now he was getting a divorce and would be able to freely do what he wanted that he would be satisfied with that but he continue to find ways to torture me or get back at me in a very subtle ways. Narcissists also feel a real sense that they arent good enough. I didnt know until now he was one. Now I am mentally sick again. even went on a smearing campaign with ex friends to talk bad about me and get discriminating knowledge about me. Here is how a narcissist handles a remarriage. Im in a mess. 2008: meets victim number 3 (me), after a very short time together says he wants a baby ( his 2nd). So the next time you walk into the office, put a smile on that face. The most beautiful eastern european woman came into my life just over a year ago. I got a wage deduction order and the divorce said that he had to pay me until death or in the event that I lived with someone else. Not sure if shes actually managed it, but she travels abroad by herself frequently (shes not from here) and is entirely focused on her appearance and going out partying while he works. All the while my kids are all in the middle of this mangled mess, he begs her back after learning she was pregnant again for the third time and they go on a Family cruise Dec. 3, 2015 that ended in a altercation with my 13 year old daughter. Thank you this happen to me she got them a house and now they are married. He probably goes around telling everyone about all of his "great" accomplishments. He moved in with her two weeks after moving out of our house. companies. This narcissist marries, divorces and remarries with dizzying speed. He continuously sends me emailsstating that his heart is in pieces,, what about his new wife, I mean supply?. No. So many may then why do you keep trying to contact me. You might notice some of the following signs in a narcissistic marriage. She changed, started making me feel i was not worthy of her, made me feel i was an asshole, called me stupid, things like that. I asked her 2 days ago on the phone if she would help me with the demons i have had in my head for years and she said ok. Took work overseas over being home with our kids partly to be with GF 2. But he totally flaked out and picked on my daughter relentlessly and cruelly when his youngest was off at college. This went on for months and we never even kissed properly. I brought my young child into this marriage. People with narcissistic personality disorder are generally unwilling to accept any responsibility for anything that they are doing that makes their spouse unhappy. I had three kids under 10 with one.Exactly one year after I divorced her (she had an affair and i found out), she gives the eyes to a work mate,they now live together in a big-ish house,car each etc etc . He made me do horrible things. There is almost nothing a narcissist wont do if he thinks it will bring him fame. Not only the fact that Im in love with him, but knowing how he is being treated and knowing from direct experience how it felt and how screwed up my head was back then.